I mean, I was walking around in the bowels of Hell earlier and some things just became glaringly apparent.
First. Hell stinks. Not just figuratively, but it smells like sulfur.
Next. All the condemned souls WON'T shut-up! Yeah, eternal torment,.. I get it. So, stop all the screamin' and teeth gnashing.
Also, the dress code really isn't what I expected. In fact, it's very similar to that of Wal-Mart. Khakis and polos. I guess the misery of wearing khakis for all eternity would really be a pretty atrocious punishment. Damnation indeed...
But lastly, the devil is a little different than I expected.
Yeah, it's true that he does have the neatly groomed goatee and all that. Surprisingly, even in this day and age, he still manages to pull off the cape look pretty well too...
What seemed weird though, is the fact that you NEVER see the guy without a bottle of man's greatest mistake in his hand. Crystal Pepsi (tm). I mean,... gross. Seriously.
So, at the end of my tour of Hell, ol' Scratch asked me what I thought of the place. But, in doing so, he breathed Crystal Pepsi (tm) all in my face.
With this, I did what any red-blooded America would do. I mule-kicked Satan in the genital region. He totally should have saw that coming...
Instead, he wept aloud and clasped his junk as tears rolled down his face. What a wuss...
So, until next I blog, remember this. I'm Ben Dennis, and I'd like you much better if you were too...
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