Those That Control Us...

I missed a night of blogging!
It wasn't my fault,... I assure you.
No. In fact, I can tell you exactly what happened. So, sit back, grab a refreshing cola beverage and a turnip and check this out...
It was late. The world was quiet and I was all ready to do my evening blog.
I'd just went through my typical pre-blog ritual of pulling my socks up knee high, putting on one rhinestone covered glove, and drinking milk out of Sitting Bull's skull when I noticed something was amiss.
As I did my dynamic "King of All Sex" pose, I looked up and noticed the ceiling was dripping blood.
Now, make no mistake. The house is kinda old and sometimes it just does that,... but rarely on a Monday!
Then, as I turned on the monitor, the sound of 1,000 screaming hermaphrodites ripped through the silence!!!
Again,... it's happened before, but it's not an every day thing.
Finally, in the radioactive glow of my flat screen monitor, it happened!
The severed, floating head of Richard Simmons entered through the doorway, eye sockets dripping with blood, and chomping in a Pac-Man like manner.
The anti-fat guru's head turned as I watched and went straight to the wireless receiver for my internet service and DEVOURED it in one massive CHOMP!!!
As quick as that, my internet service was NO MORE...
As the vile head turned and floated away, still chomping the air, I wept bitterly.
So, long story short. It took till this morning to get service back.
Stupid Richard Simmons head...
So, until next I blog, remember this. I'm Ben Dennis, and I'd like you much better if you were too...